Going Without
by Kame-Fey
Summary: Yes, this is a 'what if' story. 5 years after the manga ends, Mikan discovers she has the Childhood Alice and loses both her powers, thus being forced out of Gakuen Alice.


**[[A/N: Okay so this is basically my first Gakuen Alice fanfic. It'll be a oneshot unless I decide to continue it. Comment and Enjoy!]]**

**[[2****nd**** A/N: I don't own any of the characters (except the chauffer). The plot is all mine. :D]]**

Mikan looked back at the slowly shrinking buildings of Gakuen Alice with a sad smile. Tears dribbled down her cheeks, following the red tear stains that marked her face.

"Miss, are you alright?" the Gakuen Alice chauffer asked tentatively from the front seat. He was assigned to bring the ex-student to the train station to meet her mother.

Mikan nodded bravely, wiping her eyes bravely, settling into a napping position in the back seat. Even though she was 16 years old, she still enjoyed those trivial "childish" acts. "Of course. How long until we get there?"

The chauffer smiled, doubtful of the Alice legend's bravado. "About 10 minutes, Miss."

Mikan sighed and rested her head against the windowsill. Her eyelids were suddenly heavy with exhaustion. The blooming Sakura trees that lined the road let pink shafts of life into the car. _So peaceful_, Mikan thought peacefully, letting her stressed mind relax into a deep sleep.

--

1 month earlier ~~

"_What?" Hotaru demanded, standing up suddenly from her seat. The bench squeaked loudly as it dragged across the wooden floor of the classroom. _

"_Quiet," Mikan pleaded, looking around. No one in homeroom seemed to pay attention to her best friend's sudden outburst, but she didn't want to take any chances. "Please keep it down." It was pretty ironic that she was the one saying it and not Hotaru. _

"_How do you know?" Hotaru hissed, her eyes searching Mikan's face. _

"_I just do," MIkan replied softly, sitting down on the desk. "Recently, I've just felt…as if I couldn't nullify as well."_

"_But are you sure that you have the Childhood type of Alice? For both?" Hotaru asked. _

_Mikan nodded, her mouth tightening into a thin lip. Her declining powers were a big shock to her as well. It had taken a huge act of courage just to admit it to herself. _

"_Have you told…him?" Hotaru whispered, uttering the last word slowly. _

_Mikan shook her head. "Ruka? No."_

_Hotaru's fingers twitched towards her baka gun, but the situation seemed too serious. "Not Ruka…Hyuuga."_

_Mikan stiffened as she glanced over towards the back window. As always, Natsume was sitting alone, gazing off into the distance. A twinge of pain surged through Mikan's heart. It was the pain of broken love. _

_  
"Why would I tell him?" Mikan asked sharply. _

_Hotaru bit her lip and leaned over her desk. Before Mikan knew what was happened, Hotaru had wrapped her in a tight hug. _

"_Baka," Hotaru scolded. "You are such a baka sometimes."_

--

"Mikan! It's great to see you again," Yuka Azumi said cheerily, hugging her daughter. She could feel her teenage daughter's body stiffen.

"Hi," Mikan said awkwardly, hugging her "mother" weakly. Even after 5 years, Mikan still felt touchy around Yuka, refusing to call her mom or by any variation.

"I'll be leaving her in your care then, M'am," the school chauffer interrupted, tipping his cap in respect. With that, he disappeared into the throng of people surging through the train platform.

"So let's go, Mikan," Yuka pushed eagerly, smiling brightly down at her daughter. It had always been her first wish for her daughter to grow up without an Alice. And now that dream was coming true. Still…glancing down at Mikan's face, Yuka noted how Mikan's face was red and swollen from crying.

"Yeah," Mikan muttered, picking up her sole suitcase. She followed Yuka out of the train station slowly, shuffling her feet.

The pair trailed out to the parking lot. Yuka led the way to her car and loaded her daughter's suitcase into the trunk. She opened the passenger door for Mikan and slid into the driver's side.

On the road, the silence between Yuka and Mikan was so heavy.

Yuka frowned and decided to begin a conversation and see it through. "So, Mikan. I enrolled you at your old school. They have a high school branch, so you can get together with your old friends."

"Oh."

The response was so short. Yukan bristled with her daughter's curtness. She had gone over their reunion several times in her head. Each time, she could only imagine Mikan daughter as the peppy, bright girl from 5 years ago.

"Mikan," Yuka began firmly. "I understand your depression but try to look at this on the bright side."

That's when Mikan snapped. "What bright side?" the teenager demanded, her voice raspy and harsh. "Is there a bright side? I can't see any of my friends! I have to make new ones. And…I can't see—him anymore." She couldn't mention _his_ name.

--

"_I don't know if I'll be able to write to you," Inchou mumbled, his voice catching. _

"_Don't worry," Mikan assured her class rep. "You don't need to."_

"_Hey, we will all try," Permy insisted, wacking Inchou's head in frustration. Her eyes were bright and shimmering with held back tears. _

_Her whole homeroom grouped together around Mikan in a huge hug, crying tears and goodbyes. The whole atmosphere was painful and gloomy. _

_When the group hugs finally dispersed, Hotaru came up to Mikan quietly. Her large, purple eyes glinted with immense sadness. "You said goodbye to Narumi, right? I know you haven't talked to him since we moved up to the middle campus." _

_Mikan laughed softly (although calling it a laugh would be an overstatement). "Yes. I got permission from my uncle yesterday."_

_Hotaru nodded, although I could tell she was definitely avoiding something. _

"_Spit it out, Hotaru," Mikan urged. _

"_Talk to Hyuuga. If you don't, you'll regret it," Hotaru ordered, pulling out her baka gun. _

_Mikan flinched playfully, remembering all the times she received a punch from that. "I rather get the baka gun."_

_Hotaru groaned. "What's wrong with you two? I thought when he confessed all those years ago, both of you would admit your feelings to each other fully! But since then, everything's been a huge pain!" _

"_Things changed."_

"_Baka!" Hotaru shot. _

"_OUCH!" Mikan yelped, as she received another injury (and sadly, she knew, her last) from Hotaru's genius invention. _

--

Mikan leaned her chair back, refusing to let Yuka see her crying. "You don't understand," she spat.

Yuka didn't respond. Her mind was wild with a torrent of thoughts. _Perhaps…my daughter…I really don't understand her,_ Yuka thought bitterly. _I always imagined she would be happier without an Alice. _

She pulled the car up to a red light. The hum of the car vibrated softly beneath her hands from the steering wheel. Peeking at her daughter, Yuka realized Mikan had fallen asleep with a face of pure loneliness.

"I hope someday I can understand," Yuka whispered, placing her hand on her daughter's bare arm. The mother could feel her daughter's warm pulse beneath her fingertips.

There was a soft burst of light.

**[[A/N: Didya like it? If so, comment. If not, critique.]]**


End file.
